"I used to wonder why there were evil people in the world. Then I realised that good people need an example of what NOT to be."

Q: Why do 90 percent of women believe in ghosts?

A: Because they've seen how fast men disappear after sex!!

The Smart Husband

Once Mom asked:

Whom do you Love more?
Me or your Wife?

Husband replied: I don't know..
but your Love makes me forget my Wife
&
Her Love & care reminds me of You!

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife came up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation
he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, “Oh the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you’re not there.”
Then she asked, “Did you dance much?” He replied, “I’ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.
But I’ll tell you… the guy I loaned my
costume to, sure had a real good time!”

Amazing puzzle
Priya is 21 years older than her son Raju. In 6 years from now, Priya will be 5 times as old as Raju.
Question : Where is Priya's husband?
(There is a mathematical solution for this. Try it before scrolling down)

Solution :
Priya (MOM =M) is 21 years older than Raju
(Child = C).
M = C + 21
In 6 years from now, Mom will be 5 times as old as her Child.
M + 6 = ( C + 6 ) x 5
C + 21 + 6 = ( C + 6) x 5
C + 27 = 5C + 30
-3 = 4C
C = -3/4
The child is -3/4 years old, that is, -9 months Child will be born in 9 months.
So, right now, Priya's Husband is..

ON TOP OF HER...

This one is a killer.

Santa won an English quiz by writing the opposite of
"Manchester United"

Guess what he wrote?

"Woman chest r divided"=))

A man is stopped by the police at mid night & asked where he's going.

"I am going to listen to a lecture on effects of alcohol & drug abuse on the human body"

The policeman asks,'really? And who's going to give that lecture at this time of night?'

'My wife' comes the reply!!!!:p =D =))

7 Types of Girls

There are basically 7 TYPES OF GIRLS...

1. HARD DISK Girls:
Remember everything forever.

2. RAM Girls:
Forgets about you the moment you turn her
off.

3. SCREEN SAVER Girls:
Just for looking.

4. INTERNET Girls:
Difficult to access.

5. SERVER Girls:
Always busy when needed.

6. MULTIMEDIA Girls:
Makes horrible things looks beautiful.

7. VIRUS Girls :
These type of girls are normally called'WIFE'

once enters in your system don't leave even after format.:D :p

Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
That way, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes...>=) X_X *nerd* (y) =D
=))

What is tension??

A good looking girl asks you for a lift...
.
On way, she goes unconcious...
.
You take her to the hospital....
.
Doctor says :-
'Congratulations, you're going to be a father'..

Here comes the tension............
.
You say, I am not the father
.
Girl says, you are only the father.
.
More tension!........
.
Police came and did the medical check up.......
.
Report came, you can never be a father....
.
Even more tension!...
.
You thank god, and came out....
.
Then it struck you, whose two kids are at home??!?
.
.
REAL TENSION....