This one is awesum...
A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the road outside Parliament, Delhi.
Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks,"What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire Indian Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they're going to douse them all in petrol and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, collecting donations".
"How much is everyone giving, on an average?" the driver asks...

The man replies, "Roughly 2 litres."

WHAT SEX CAN DO...!

1. It makes some people religious: Oh God! Oh My
God! Yes! God!

2. It gives some people their first musical lesson:
mmmm...aaaahh...ooooh...aaahhh

3. Makes some people natural competitors:
Ffaaast! Fasterrr! Yeah fasterrr!

4. It makes some people announce their own obituary:
Ahh you are killing me! I'm dead! I'm finished! You'll kill me!

5. It makes some ladies become terrorists:
Destroy it! Don't show any damn mercy! Just tear it apart! Don't do it with mercy! I am not your sister. Do it harderrr...HARDER!

6. Others become respectful:
Give it to me please.. please ... mmm... please I'm begging.

7. Some show sudden loyalty:
I love you! You are my life! I'm yours forever! You are the best! Say whatever you want. Jack me any how and it's yours!

8. Makes some people become beggars:
Yeah please don't stop! Please I beg in God's name give it to me!

Funny thing sex is... =))

A guy was siting in the toilet when
someone from the adjacent toilet said,
1: Hi, how are you?
He got embarrassed and said,
2: I m fine.
1: So what are you up to?
2: Well, just sitting like u.
1: Can I come over?
2: No! Are you crazy?
1: Listen I will call you back. There is
an idiot in the other toilet answering my questions.

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say,
"You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.
She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter."
The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy."
A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is.
Johnny thinks hard and then says to the teacher,
"I remember it has an "r" after the first letter."
"That's right!" she coaxed.
Then after a few seconds Little

Johnny says, "Mrs. Crunt?"

A woman asks the pharmacist if he sells extra large condoms.

The pharmacist replies, "Yes, would you like to buy one?"

The woman says, "No, but do you mind if I stand here and wait to see if anyone buys one?"

A Director made a film on lesbians & named it
'Fire'
.
.
Now he is making another film on gay.
.
.
Can you guess the name...?
.
.
.
'Backfire'

What is the difference between America and India??

What is the difference between America and India??
.
.
.
.?
??
?
.
?
In America you can Kiss in public,
And in India you can Piss in public..!

Santa: What is Difference Between “complete and finish”?

Banta: When You marry a Right Person You are Complete,
And When You Marry The Wrong One Your Are Finished!!! =)) X_X

One Line Advertisement by Married Man In Newspaper
.
.
For Sale:Wedding Suit.
Worn Only Once By MISTAKE..!

An old man went to the college that he went to when he was a youth.
He knocked on room number 3 of the hostel and said:
"May I come in. I lived in this very room thirty years ago when I studied in this college".

A young man opened the door and let him in.

The old man examined the room, fondly remembering everything.
He said, "The same old room, the same old wooden table, the ventilator and the same old window that opens to the garden. And the same old bed.".

When examining it he found a young girl under the bed.

The young man got alarmed and said, "Don't mistake me.
She is my sister. She dropped her ear ring and is searching for it".

The old man said, "And the same old story...!"

2 tamil men get onto a bus in New York. They sit down & engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next 2 them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears 1 of them say the following:

"Emma cums first.
Den I cum. Den two asses cum together. I cum once-a-more!
2 asses, they cum 2gether again.
I cum again and pee twice.
Then I cum one lasta time."

The lady can't take this any more and shouts "You foul- mouthed sexobsessed Indian, in this country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives however extraordinary they are."
"Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. "Who talkin' about sex?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell Mississippi."

(I swear you're gonna read this again)

Excellent Reply:
A mother-in-law said to her son's wife, when the baby was born:
"I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son!"
I just love this answer.
The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said:
"I don't mean to be rude either, ,but this is not a photo-copier."

A fairy saw a lion chasing a rabbit in the forest.
She asked both to stop and said “I will grant you both 3 wishes.”

Lion – Turn all the lions in this forest female, except me.
Rabbit wished for a helmet.
Lion thought – stupid rabbit, wasting his wish.

2nd wish lion – I wish all the lions in next forest turn to female.
Rabbit asked for a motorcycle.
Lion shocked again.

3rd wish lion- All the lions in the world turn to female except me. The rabbit started his motorcycle and shouted his 3rd wish, . . . “Make this lion Gay....!"