Baby mosquito came back after its first flying...
His dad asked him, "how do u feel ?"
He replied "it was wonderful Daddy... All humans clapped hands for me!!"

Your destiny by your employer is not decided according to what you perform.

E.g. Condoms are also thrown in dustbin even after 100% result oriented performamce..=))

High heels are a man's invention to make it harder for a woman to run away.:p=));)

One spelling mistake can destroy a marriage!

A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word, 

"I am having such a wonderful time! 
Wish you were her !"

2 kids on a bed....
1st : i am a boy, what are you ??
.
.
2nd : I dont know
.
.
1st : wait I see then I'll
tell you (goes under the
blanket) You are a girl....
.
.
.
.
2nd : how did you know ?....
.
.
.
.
1st : because my socks
are blue and yours are pink !!!!

A Man goes to Five Star Hotel....

Man :- “One Vodka Price”<=-P

Waiter :- “Rs. 5/- Sir”\=D/

Man :- What Only Rs. 5/ ??:O:>
Can I Also Have One Pizza Please" ??:s

Waiter :- “Rs. 7/- Sir” :D

Man :- “Wow That’s Really Cheap, Can I Meet The Owner of this Hotel” ?? \=D/:>

Waiter :- “No Sir, He’s Busy With My
Girlfriend” !!!! >:O#:-s

Man :- “What’s He Doing With Your
Girlfriend” ???? :/

Waiter :- “The Same Thing That I’m Doing To His Business Here“ !!!!X_X =)) :p

A woman went for fishing.
She enjoyed boating & got tired.
She sat, kept her things &
started reading a book.

Policeman came, said: Maam you are in "NO" fishing Zone.

She said: "I am reading not
fishing."

Policeman said:
"But you have all equipment & u
might start anytime."

Woman shouted: "Im not fishing
here. Now you are sexually harrassing me."

Policeman said: "I am not doing
anything!"

She smiled: "Thats it! You have
all equipment & might start anytime!"

Moral : Never Argue with a Woman

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you !

The guy who discovered milk, What was he doing with that cow?

A guy sits in a taxi and sees his wife entering a hotel with another man, and tells the driver.

Do you want to Earn $500 right away ?
The driver excitedly said what do I have to do ?..
Bring my wife by the hair out of that hotel, here's a picture of her.
After a while the driver is seen dragging a woman by the hair, while kicking and beating her and puts her in the Taxi.
and the husband says to him,
"This is not my wife" the driver replied "
Nooooo , this is mine, hold her for me.
I'm going for yours"! :O X_X =))