EPIC Joke nearing to reality*

Two IT guys were chatting in a pub after work. "Guess what, mate," says the first IT guy, "yesterday, I met this gorgeous girl in a bar." "What did you do?" says the other IT guy. "Well, I invited her over to my place to have dinner and drink. We had dinner with a couple of drinks then she suddenly asked me to make her feel special" "You're kidding me!" says the second IT guy.
"Then I lifted her and put her on my desk next to my new laptop."
"Really? You got a new laptop? What
configuration?"
"It's a 8 GB RAM, 3 Ghz Intel i7 3rd gen processor, 1 TB SATA Hdd 7200 RPM, 16'LED capacitive. screen, Windows 8 pro,NVIDIA GT graphic card with 2GB dedicated ram latest dual layer blueray drive and mobile internet connectivity card and....."

"Awesome laptop man!
Show it to me man..Chal bye Aur Haan kal pakka laptop le ke aana..!

FUNNY ULTIMATE TRUTHS

1. Whenever I Find The Key To Success,
Someone Changes The Lock.

2. The Road To Success Is Always Under Construction ;)

3. In Order To Get A Loan,
You First Need To Prove That You Don't Need It :p

4. All The Desirable Things In Life Are Either Illegal, Expensive Or Married :p

5. Once You Have Bought Something, You Will Find The Same Item Being Sold Somewhere Else At A Cheaper Rate :D

Enjoy Life ! :)

Boss : There are 50 bricks on an airplane. If you drop 1 outside. How many are left?

Employee : That's easy,49.

Boss : What are the 3 steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge

Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in.
Close the fridge.

Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?

Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.

Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Employee : She jst crosses it because the crocodiles Are at the lion's birthday

Boss : Last question.
In the end the old lady still died. Why?

Employee : Er .I guess she drowned?

Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the airplane.
You may leave now..

Moral: No matter how much you prepare, if the boss wanna fuck you up, anyhow he will...

A Jamaican man went into a store and picked up a bottle of juice and a bag of sugar and only paid for the juice and walked out.
He got arrested for stealing the sugar and when he went to court the judge asked him why he steal the sugar?
Then he replied.
Yuh Honor … Mi nah thief no sugar ……mi look pon de back ah di juice and... it said sugar FREE.=D

On Womens Day Special...

All the Major things a Woman needs in her
lifetime start with the letter "M".
Man
Money
Makeup
Mercedes
Movies
Masti
Mall
Maggi
Last but not the least and most important...
....
....
Maid =))

Define the term ... 'Moron'

A moron is someone who visits ice cream parlour instead of chemist when his girlfriend says "I love chocolate flavour..!"

Two children were in a doctor's waiting room.
A little girl was softly sobbing "Why are you crying?" asked the little boy
"I'm here for blood test, and they're going to cut my finger" said the girl when he heard this, the little boy started to cry.
"Why are u crying?" Asked the girl
The boy looked at her worriedly and
said, "I'm here for a urine test..!"

Women's Day Special..!!
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws.." =D =))

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day..
30,000 to a man's 15,000.. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men.. The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me, God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!!"
Men are not equipped for these kind of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the MASTERPIECE..

Feel eternally YOUNG, FREE and STRONG..

Celebrate the power of being a WOMEN..

Happy Women's Day :)
Respect O:)

A lawyer came home after having sex in his car. The girl forgot her bra and panty in the car. The wife found them, tore them up and shouted: "You dirty bastard!!! You have been screwing ur secretary." Without blinking an eyelid, the lawyer shouted back: "Bitch!! You have just destroyed the only evidence of a high profile rape case I have been working on. You can now forget abt that diamond necklace u were asking for!".
The wife fell to her knees, crying & trying 2 repair the torn pieces & the lawyer walked away smiling...

Moral: Start studying LAW.

A parrot swallows a viagra tablet.  His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. After 20 minutes, he opens the freezer to see the parrot sweating. "why r u sweating?", he asks. The Parrot replies,"Do you know how fucking hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken!?"