•Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves
you,it's only when you leave her a virgin.
•Tension is when wife is pregnant! Terror is
when girlfriend is pregnant! Horror is when
both are pregnant! Tragedy is when you are
not responsible for both!
•The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of
sperm when mating. Only 10% enters the
female. And you always wondered why the
sea tasted salty?

•Why is it that a girl looks down when you
say I love you? To see if you really mean it!
•Why is sex similar to shaving? Well, because
no matter how well you do it today,
tomorrow you have to do it again.
•Wives are funny creatures. They don't have
sex with their husbands for weeks and then
they want to kill the woman who does.
•Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-
Olympic sex. Friend: Wow, must be a terrific
sex life? Wife: Not really. It only happens
once in 4 years.
•The stock markets now are like an old man's
dick? Just refusing to rise, and the irony is
that everyone is still getting screwed!
•This week is Breast Awareness Week. Spread
the slogan ....... "We stare because we care!"
•The saddest part of a man's body is his
balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to
"Hang Till Death!"
•A loud scream comes from the bedroom and
the husband runs in. He sees a guy leaping
out of the window. Wife yells: That guy just
screwed me twice! Husband: Twice? Why
didn't you call me in after he screwed you
once? Wife: Because I thought it was you,
until he started the second time.
•What is the difference between a chicken
and a baby? Chicken is the result of a sitting
hen while the baby is the result of standing
cock.
•If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you
get? Tit-Bits. And if it bursts in a man's
underwear? Banana split.
•What's the difference between a bomb & a
condom? In a bomb blast, population
decreases BUT in a condom blast, population
increases...